that's how I get by. And this week, the comments here; in eMail and phone and PMs and snail mail have just surrounded me with comfort. I hope you don't mind that I think of y'all as a big smooshy blanket because that's what it's felt like. I've read the comments here over and over. ~~waves to Paul and Crystal! I haven't heard from y'all in forever. Hope all is well with you.
I feel better but damn it..I hate it when I just stumble into something that brings reality back. Like opening the door slowly because Zoey can't back up fast. Or cooking more than I eat so she can have a little taste. Or wandering around with my left over cereal milk looking for Mary...she loved that sweetened milk.
I sniffed and snuffled and sobbed and sniffed and snuffled some more and then decided that was enough. So, when in doubt...do laundry. Stripped all the bedding including mattress pads etc. Washed all fo them. Washed winter covers. Washed spring covers (the didn't need it since they'd been in bags but hey...it's more laundry) And then decided that next I needed to steam clean the carpets. So right now, I can actually get to two chairs although it involves some contortions as most all of the furniture is piled in one room and all the lamps, baskets of knitting etc is piled in another while my bedroom and living room floors dry. Thankfully it's a breezy warm day so hopefully by nightfall they'll be dry. And maybe tomorrow, I can umm wash curtains??
but again, thank you so much. I've never ever in my whole entire life been the recipient of this much caring.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
It's been a cruel month.
On the 15th, Mary, my 21 1/2 year old matriarch kitty headed off to the Rainbow Bridge cradled in my arms. I believe she had a stroke several months ago, but had recovered enough to continue to boss everyone in the house. However, on Saturday the 12th she had what was apparently another one and her downhill slide picked up steam.
And last night, Zoey the wonder dog (age guestimate is 12 she was a rescue), also took the journey as I sang (for the eleventy seventh time), Oh Canada to her. I sing to my babies a lot..mostly nonsense songs...but yesterday Oh Canada was the only one I could sing without sobbing. She was on new meds for an infection and her arthritis and as of Thursday and Friday doing sooooooooo much better. We'd planned on a Saturday afternoon outside enjoying the high 50s temps. But before we could do it she had a massive seizure which indicated a stroke. Certainly her newly regained agility went to hell and she was absolutely frantic. Fortunately she calmed down, ate a good supper, stayed up past her normal bedtime wagging her tail. Awakened me at 0300, restless and the day went downhill from there. We spent most of the day on the floor. Her on a pallet of blankets and me on the loveseat cushion and various pillows.
This picture makes me cry..not because they look sweet but because it was so funny at the time. As Zoey's arthritis took hold, she had a whole lot of trouble with her back hips and her legs would go out from under her on slick floors. I'm not sure if Mary thought she was helping, but she almost seemed to stalk her. And as soon as Zoey went down, Mary would go snuggle up to her. Zoey was NOT thrilled. And would bark and whine as if to say, "She's touching me mom!! Help" And this one time the camera was on and I got a quick flash-lit snap of them. (I took it to Picnik and got Zoey's eyes back to the dark brown they were but for some reason, in there Mary was so dark to be unrecognizable)
"If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I would walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again"
I miss you guys so much. Thank the universe that you found your way into my life. xoxoxoxo