Tornado!!!

So there I am after a busy Monday at work. It's hot and muggy and sunny and I've had my oatmeal supper. Zoey's been in and out and is busily trying to lick her feet off. (anyone have good ideas why a dog has this problem? my vet keeps trying things but other than being asleep nothing much works). And me, dressed in some raggy shorts and tank top, well, I'm settled in the corner of my loveseat, knitting happily away on the another attempt at a sock and watching CSI reruns on cable. (When it's tornado time, you are supposed to be dressed in long pants and shoes and socks so you can crawl over the debris. You should also make sure you have your teeth in since the tv people seem to search out folks without them)

KERTHUNK. BANG. POW POW POW KERTHUNK. WTF are those cats doing back there. Oh, although still sunny, it's hailing! A new opportunity for picture taking. I grab the camera and just as I open the door I realize that the sunny sky is now ORANGE. And big hail is falling, and cable tv starts howling and telling me to switch to a local channel. And I hear the weatherman say, "Head to a safe place NOW! It's at I40 mile marker --- and headed north east. Holy shit!!! That mile marker is just a bit southwest of me. First a bathroom stop...the fight/flight thing, ya know. The sky is getting more orange as I grab my bag and a radio and yell for the dog to come with me. She scurries down the steps; the cats have totally disappeared.

The storm chaser is yelling "It's on the ground, it's on the ground" And I have to pee again. Now having lived all my life with me, I know this is gonna happen so I have "constructed" a porta potty made out of a 5 gallon mud bucket. That tended to, I hear him say "Oh my God, lok at that...that grove of trees is gone!"

"Where??" I ask...what grove of trees?!?!?!

"Still on the ground, taking out that wheat field!"

"Poor farmer, I think!". The dog has gone to sleep in the middle of the floor (her feet are happy for that) and resists any pleading from me to join me under the stairs. But aha! Here comes Hershey, the Siamese.

Hershey says "Oh good, we can cuddle and nobody can find us!" then I hear him say "Ouch! You just poked me with one of those sharp sticks!", and I realize that I am still clutching the sock. Hahah! Gotta have priorities.

So I get all comfy under the steps (I have no idea if this is the safest place but it seems right) and think. "If it's gonna get me I hope it hurries, I have to pee again." "I'm sure glad my new yarn hasn't arrived yet" "I should tell someone I hide under the stairs so they can find me" "Hey maybe it will just take the raggedy back of the house and I can get it fixed" "Or maybe the front porch" "If it totals the house, I can pay it off and move to an apt" "I bet there will be enough money left over for a swift" "I really have to pee!"

Storm chaser man says "It's hit the airport. (municipal..private planes and acrobatic planes practice here too). Look at that debris in the air. It's a weak F2 at this point and headed for the town. Take cover NOW!"

OK, OK, I've taken cover and now I'm really getting a bit scared. Plus, I really really really have to pee again. I crawl out of my hidey hole, visit the potty and look out the window just as a big hail hits it and I watch the spider web spread out. And the sky is really really orange.

Hershey had now found the knitting and I have to save it. I just don't think I can start this over again. That done, I listen as the tornado heads due east and LIFTS BACK UP. The sirens are still wailing, the hail is still falling, but we've dodged it once again..at least here in town. And I take my bag, and go upstairs and go outside and trade stories with the neighbors and then...well what else? Dressed in some raggy shorts and tank top, well, I'm settled in the corner of my loveseat, knitting happily away on the another attempt at a sock and watching CSI reruns on cable.