Thursday, April 19, 2007

Remembering April 19

Twelve years ago today it was bright and sunny. As I set out to do early visits on some patients, I was wearing my favorite yellow and white stripey shirt. I was happy and laughing. I did not know of the terror and sadness that would soon arrive in my life.
o, I wasn't in the Murrah building. I had, however, been in it several times, and when I worked in downtown Oklahoma City, had often eaten my lunch outside it on pretty days. At first, when I first, along with many others, crowded around a tiny tv in a doctor's office, I didn't believe it. The Murrah had reflective glass. This wasn't that building. It took awhile for me to absorb the fact that the glass was gone.When I was told to change into jeans and heavy shoes and then dispatched to help triage those rescued I still had hopes. They were dashed as we were told that the majority of the injured ones had been transported. And that those that were missing...well, it was unlikely they would need us.I was lucky. I didn't lose anyone that was close to me. But I did lose someone I'd known for years. And many of my friends and coworkers were more closely affected.

And more importantly at age 50, I lost the majority of my remaining innocence. This was Oklahoma for God's sake. Nothing like this would ever happen here. Tornadoes, sure. Bombings, no way! But it did.

And I learned. I learned that right this moment is what I have. I learned that you can't wait until a "good time" to tell someone you love them...that they make you smile...that you appreciate their help. Running an errand may be that last thing you do. Cherish the time you spend giggling with a friend, child, spouse, lover...or the clerk at the grocery.
Know too, that I cherish each of you.


Unknown said...

I wish there were more I could do than send (((((you))))) hugs as best I can, for this memory is one you wish would go away; never happened; bad, bad dream. Hard to fathom, no doubt!

Let's hope this world; people start to change ... my hugs go out also to those affected by the recent tragedy at VT

Laura said...

I remember that day, too. We were in Amarillo, and I was huge as a house, pregnant. A friend of mine originally from OKC 'praire dogged' over a cubical and said the Murrah building had just exploded. I went home for lunch, thinking it had to be from a gas leak. How could anyone, or why would anyone blow up a building with people inside?

I think McVey got off too easy. He should have been released from prison, able to live his life. After, of course, he'd had a small bomb implanted in his chest. When would it explode? That's the fun part. Any time, any where. >:)

Devorah said...

***HUGS*** There are no other words.

Cookie said...


Susan said...

smiling at vindictive Laura...oh I do NOT want to get on your bad side!

Cookie, Devorah and give great hugs!
All of your hugs are appreciated and happily received. You know of course that everything that happens makes us who we are. And, even sometimes the bad things bring about needed changes. Certainly did in me. For that I'm grateful..and for y'all ...extremely grateful. The web is a wondrous thing.

Unknown said...

And Albuquerque ain't bad either!! heh heh ... I never pass up a chance to hug (((m'friends))) be it in person, or cyberly!!

Sheri said...

Oh Wow! That was a very powerful blog post. So many of these tragedy's are making us all grow up too fast.

Anonymous said...

Amen and well said. It is amazing how we lose our innocence.
Sweetie You are very special to me and I am so very glad we got to know each other.


Ann said...

Sending a hug your way...